Are You Wearing a Mask?

I think it’s tough to be real…truly authentic. Not afraid of our blemishes and fears. I’m talking about putting ourselves out there.

The truth is, no one likes a complainer so we tell everyone we’re fine when we’re not. We paste on a smile and reel off Christianisms like “too blessed to be stressed”, only to cry out in pain alone. We sit in Bible studies and give pat answers while the others nod in agreement. We talk and act the “right” way…we wear the mask.

Have you ever sat in a class where the teacher is giving a lecture but you’re completely lost? You look around the room and everyone else seems to comprehend the lesson while silently taking notes. You dare not raise your hand for fear of looking foolish.

The teacher finishes, takes a deep breath and asks, “Does anyone have any questions before we move on?”

Cough. Shuffle. Cough. Cough.

“Okay, since you all understand, then turn to page…”

One hand sheepishly goes up in the back. “I’m sorry miss, but I’m confused.”

The teacher sighs and looks around the classroom. “Anyone else not get it?”

Slowly, one by one, all hands go up. A wave of relief washes over you. So you weren’t alone, after all.

This is the problem when we aren’t real. If we don’t put our issues out there, we can never get help. And, by admitting to our own imperfections or struggles, we might end up helping someone else.

It’s not easy being a mother of two kids who have special needs. I make instant connections with other moms of children who have disabilities when I’m honest about the challenges my family faces daily. Before you know it, we are exchanging wonderful ideas and a commitment to encourage each other.

Sometimes we get burned when we put ourselves out there, but maybe we just might be a blessing to someone else.

- Cherie Gagnon

Do you think we wear too many masks?

My Family's Connection to the Titanic

It’s been over 100 years since the Titanic met its watery grave. Interestingly enough, my family has a connection to that famous, but ill-fated ship.

In 1911, my great-grandfather Tom Cadreanu left Romania to come to Canada, seeking a better life. He decided to brave the journey on his own to explore opportunities, find shelter and land. Once he was established, he sent word to his young wife, Amelia, to come to Canada with their daughter, Flora.

Passage was arranged for the two young travelers aboard the Titanic.

Given their economic condition, it was very likely that Amelia would’ve traveled third-class. And as everyone knows (thanks to James Cameron), the passengers at this level were not offered life boats. The third-class passengers sank with the ship. And so would’ve my great-grandmother…had she boarded that Titanic as planned.

 

Crowd awaiting survivors.

 

The saving grace was Amelia’s mother. She cried and begged her daughter to stay a little longer in Romania since she’d never see her again. Once they said good-bye, it would be forever. Handwritten letters that would take months to reach its destination would be their only connection. Amelia relented and delayed her departure an entire month.

You can imagine when Tom heard the news of the Titanic’s demise, he was devastated. He went months not knowing whether his wife and daughter lived or perished. I can only imagine that warm, Canadian spring day when they were reunited once again.

Tom and Amelia lived in the Niagara region and had 15 more children with 12 surviving.

I shudder to think the rippling effect of that one decision of a teenage girl to remain in her home country for four additional weeks. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting at my computer writing this story now.

It also makes me pause to think about the moments when I feel that situations are out of control, that maybe they’re not. Perhaps God is working things out for a greater purpose than I can see or even know in the moment. Maybe that wrong turn that caused a 10-minute detour protected me from an accident. Maybe that rejection letter from an editor was meant to push me to be the better writer I can be. Maybe not getting a particular job spared me from a bad work situation. It’s learning to walk each day in faith, knowing my life is in His loving hands.

As Nazi Holocaust survivor, Corrie Ten Boom, once said, “Never be afraid to trust your unknown future, to a known God.”

Do we really need to know the whole story?

My husband and I dined this past week with a couple who are well into their 80’s. A very handsome couple who are always ready with a smile and a compliment. The husband is quite a joker and the wife has an incredibly caring heart.

This couple loves to tell stories. First, we’d get a little of the background, and then on with the narrative. What was so striking was that in the backstory, we’d learn new information about this couple. Sometimes it was something tragic, a loss, or even a change that was thrust upon them by circumstances beyond their control. But here they were, smiling and telling tales that made the writer inside of me itch for my laptop.

Looking at this couple, you wouldn’t have known or even had guessed many of these life events this couple experienced. It goes to show that everyone has a story.

Our stories shape us – maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. One thing is true – we don’t know what it’s like to live someone else’s story.

Perhaps, that’s why we’ve been told not to judge others (Matt 7:1-2). How often have we looked at a situation and determined what is exactly wrong with someone and what that person should do to fix their life? But do we really know the whole story?

Perhaps even, that’s why Jesus suggests kindness instead of retaliation (Matt. 5:39). What if that rude cashier’s husband passed away last week?

Jesus also teaches us to freely give to those in need (Matt. 5:42). Or would we rather decide that ‘needy’ people are lazy or freeloaders? Do we really know the shame a seemingly ‘normal’ person faces when their mental health renders them unemployable? Would generosity ruin them or rather drive them to the love of Christ?

Jesus also suggests that we love everyone – even those unkind to us (Matt. 5:43-47). Or would we rather own the right to strike back? After all they deserve it because we’ve never done anything wrong (*cough*).

I’m guilty of more than I’d like to admit. Since working for a non-profit organization three years ago, I’ve been brought to tears of shame when those in a state of need have shared their whole story. This ‘education’ has caused me to look back over my life. How I’ve judged and assumed—decided who needed my help and who didn’t.

This why I so desperately need the teachings of Christ. In Matthew 25, He instructs us feed the hungry and the thirsty, invite in the stranger, clothes those who need it, take care of the sick, and visit the prisoner.

Let Him be the judge. Let us obey.

- Cherie Gagnon

Book Review: On Sparrow Hill

by: Cherie Gagnon

I've reviewed this book before and it's a few years old, but it is one of my favorites. My day job is the role of a disability advocate, so this book was particularly interesting to me.

In addition to advocate, I’m a mother with two beautiful and amazing boys who happen to be affected by disability. The oldest has a severe neurological condition, Schizencephaly, and the other has Autism. As a general rule, I usually avoid books which talk about children with disabilities. I simply think people who haven’t walked in my shoes cannot capture a life like mine, although, as writers this is something we try to do all the time.

But I did pick up this type of book recently and was captivated. This novel is called On Sparrow Hill, written by Maureen Lang. What makes this story ring true is that the author actually lives a life similar to mine, raising a son with Fragile X syndrome.

On Sparrow Hill is a well-written and heart-warming tale anyone would appreciate. The overall plot revolves around an estate manager and an heir who are drawn together as they unearth family history. The story plays back and forth between a thread in the present to a thread set in the1800's. There is romance and mystery.

Additionally, woven throughout the novel is a glimpse into the life of children with intellectual delays in the nineteenth century, as well as current day. Anyone who has a child with challenges would enjoy the message of hope and faith.

For those who know others walking this path, it would enhance appreciation and understanding of what families face on an ongoing basis. Maureen also draws out the difficult range of emotions parents may experience, but also the moments of joy. There is pleasure in the little things that often get overlooked and valuable lessons that our children teach us.

I love the quote on the introductory page:
“Nature has some perfections to show that she is the image of God, and some defects to show that she is only His image.” – Blaise Pascal

I'm very grateful to Ms. Lang for opening her heart and penning such a beautiful story of unconditional love.

If you are a person living with a disability or you care for a person with a disability, what is one thing you wish the world knew?

Author Interview: Anita Mae Draper

 

I’d like to introduce you to author Anita Mae Draper. She’s a fellow-Canadian whom I happened to meet at my first American Fiction Writers Conference (ACFW) in 2010. Since that time, Anita Mae has semi-finaled in the Historical Romance category of the ACFW's 2011 Genesis contest and finaled in the Inspirational category of the 2011 Daphne du Maurier, the 2011 Fool for Love, and the 2011 Duel on the Delta.  In addition, she signed her first contract!

 

  (Leave a comment at the end of this post and be entered to win a $10 Starbucks gift certificate! As two Canadians, we apologize that it is for US residents only.)

CG - Welcome to our blog Anita Mae. I'm so happy to have another Canadian on Stitches Thru Time. Can you tell us what part of Canada you're from and what's so unique about it?

AMD - Thanks, Cherie, I'm glad to be here. I was born in Northwestern Ontario, north of Lake Superior, but my dad's job took us to Winnipeg, Manitoba which is what I consider my stompin' ground. When I was 17, I joined the military and was posted back to Ontario where I met my husband. After 20 yrs of Service, we settled in Southeast Saskatchewan to be close to hubby's folks. We're still here and if I have say what's unique about it, I'd have to say the lack of trees!

CG - I love that our country is so diverse. Why don't you tell me about your current project?

AMD - It's funny you should ask because my debut publishing credit is a short story in a Christmas anthology, A Cup of Christmas Cheer Volume 1. My story,Riding on a Christmas Wish is set in 1911 within an hour's drive of Toronto, Ontario. Although I mainly write prairie westerns, research into my husband's genealogy in the Keswick area of York County sparked an Edwardian story that grew in rich historical detail and refused to be ignored. So I did what any writer does and wrote it down.

 
CG - Wow, that sounds so intriguing! For anyone who's visited Toronto in recent years, you'll know that this city and the surrounding areas are quite populated now and an epi-center for modern business. But can you tell us what York County was like in the early 1900's?

AMD - Back in 1911, most of York County was farming country with small communities every few miles. Although it sounds boring, it was an exciting and hectic time of change. Telephones were being installed for those who recognized the wonder of modern communications. Buggies and sleighs had to share the narrow, unpaved roads with automobiles whose drivers drove on whatever side they wanted at speeds that enraged the population. Many horses panicked at the sound of automobile horns and turned into runaways, upsetting whatever they were pulling and causing injuries and even death to their passengers. Newspapers were full of incidents involving dangers of the day. It really is incredible what they went through to survive.

CG  - That does make for an interesting backdrop. What is the premise of A Cup of Christmas Cheer?

AMD - A Cup of Christmas Cheer is a 2-volume hardcover set of Christmas short stories. Volume 1 contains stories of Faith and Family, and Volume 2 contains stories of Joy and Wonder such as angels and miracles. Riding on a Christmas Wish plays into the Faith and Family theme because it's about an over-protective father, a teenager who craves freedom, and the mother who wants to honor them both. 

 

CG - Sounds like these books would make a great Christmas gift! Where and when will it be available?

A Cup of Christmas Cheer is available now at the Guideposts Books online store at http://www.shopguideposts.org/a-cup-of-christmas-cheer.html and that includes the 2 volumes and a special fridge magnet.

 

Thank you for inviting me to be on your blog, Cherie. Although we didn't discuss handcrafts, the homey atmosphere made me feel at home.

 

CG - Well, maybe we can talk handcrafts next chat ;) Thanks Anita Mae for your time today!

 

If you want to learn more about our Author of the Day, visit www.anitamaedraper.com.

 

Blessings,

Cherie Gagnon

PS - Don't forget to comment to be entered into the draw!

Genre Night at ACFW Conference

On Tuesdays, we like to share historical tidbits. I had a different post planned for today, but I wanted to share a little fun some of us had over the last few days!

From September 12-15 about 600 hundred writers, editor, agents, and authors gathered together in Indianapolis for the American Fiction Writers Convention. A new addition to the event was a Genre Night where participants could come dressed up in the time period that they write or as a character from their novels. As creative-types, this was embraced by many of us.

So today, I will be sharing some of the period costumes worn at the conference.

Fellow Stitches Thru Time (STT) bloggers: Crystal L. Barnes and Jodie Wolfe

The West meets Victorian: STT bloggers, Susan Mires and Cherie Gagnon

STT blogger, Lora Young, poses in a costume she sewed. You can see her write up on creating her dress under the heading Woven Wednesdays. Yes, it seems as though there is some time warp with the nineteenth century lady with two baseball players from the twenty-first century!

A few dressed in Medieval costumes that were fantastic!

Regency ladies who look like they walked out of an Austen novel.

We even had a few flappers at dinner.

 

 

Hope you enjoyed catching a glimpse of just a few of the costumes from Genre Night!

 

If you had to choose an outfit, what would you wear?

The Love Of Historical Novels

Ball gowns, tailcoats, horses, carriages, polite manners, Lords and Ladies, drafty castles...*Sigh*. I love the romance of years gone by. I suppose that’s why my bookshelves are lined with historical novels.

My introduction into this genre started with Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery when I was eight years old. That summer, my parents piled me and my siblings into our Chrysler New Port with a pop-up trailer in tow and drove from Southern Ontario to Prince Edward Island. Along the journey, my parents took turns reading the novel aloud. Oh, how we cried one evening in that orange-clad camper when Matthew died!

While listening to the tales of Anne Shirley, I remember being intrigued by the time period. Montgomery added details of one-room schoolhouses, the making of plum pudding (don’t forget to cover it!), purchasing household products like hair dye from peddlers, puffed sleeves, and abused slates!

Not only do historical novels help transport the readers to a different time and place, but one learns about history through a pleasurable pastime. Some writers in this genre readily admit to doing poorly in history class when they were in school. But once they read about historical events within a novel, somehow history came to life. Now they have a passion for it!

I have learned so much through fiction. Here are a few favourites with strong historical backdrops:

 

Carol Cox’s series, A Fair To Remember was set in 1893 at the World’s Fair in Chicago. She provides wonderful detail to this impressive event.

 

Lynn Austin’s novel, A Woman’s Place, was set in the early 1940s. It’s the story of four women who work in factories making airplanes during the war.

Judith Miller and Tracie Peterson’s series, Bells of Lowell delve into the lives of 19^th century women who sought employment in the mills as America developed its textile industry.

Do you enjoy historical novels? What are some of your favorites?