When God Speaks through Silence

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Four and a half months trapped in a silent world with no hope of finding my way out. I tried to speak and no sound came out. I couldn’t whisper, couldn’t even call my husband. But God often speaks through silence.

The doctors found nothing, even with a laryngoscopy. One told me to force myself to talk normally and get over it! How’s that for encouragement and professional advice? I was losing hope.

Months passed. And God’s silence, as well as my own, dragged on. A notepad accompanied me everywhere, including the bank. My kids were away at college, so I learned to text message. E-mail was the preferred method of communication.

I had a Bible study to lead, a busy life with major commitments. Every woman in the Bible study had a chance to lead. I sat with my notepad and wrote notes if necessary. Several women discovered they possessed and undiscovered gift. We learned new ways to be vessels used by God through being emptied of ourselves. He didn’t need my voice.

God spoke through my silence, but He also spoke into my silence. I prayed like seldom before without the distraction of phones and conversations. My inner spiritual life soared. God frequently gives object lessons to make us conscious of areas where we need to grow.

Eventually God led me to a speech pathologist at our local university hospital. Her laryngoscopy revealed what no one else had seen, a condition treatable through therapy. She thought twelve weeks. I spoke the first time. God will not allow us to suffer one moment longer than necessary.

What situation in your life seems hopeless? What frightens you? Everything God allows in our lives is to be used for our benefit and His glory.

When we take our focus off the obvious and look for what God is saying, He will reveal His all-sufficient strength. Roadblocks in life are a prompting to seek God and His plans to thrive through trials and grow. When we give it to Jesus, He will never let us down.

© Copyright, Norma Gail Thurston Holtman, July 26, 2011, July 20, 2017

About the author:

Norma Gail is the author of the contemporary Christian romance, Land of My Dreams, winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America, Historical Writers of America, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 41 years. They have two adult children.

Connect with Norma:

Website: www.normagail.org

Amazon Author page: http://www.amazon.com/Norma-Gail/e/B00ILHXBAK/

Book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQbZIoC_JSE

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNormaGail

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+NormaGailwrites

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/normagailth/boards/ 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7874459

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Norma_Gail

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/norma-gail-thurston-holtman/42/71a/3b2

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/normagailwrites/

Book Links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Land-My-Dreams-Norma-Gail/dp/1941103170

Affliction

In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years will never end. Psalm 102:25-27 

I feel afflicted and weak from time to time, in body, but also in my spirit and soul. What struggles frighten you and make you feel inadequate? We tend to act the way we feel, and allowing inadequacy and fear to take hold makes us weak.

A weekend trip to Colorado reminded me of just how small and insignificant I am. The mountains stand strong, robed in majesty, as they have for centuries, a testament to the power of the God who “laid the foundations of the earth.” God is so much greater than I am.

 Recently, I experienced a setback in my plans, a rejection of years of work. I felt weak, insignificant, inadequate, doubtful, and uncertain of the future. It reminded me of how small I am and how many people are better and more capable than I am. Surrounded by successful, confidant people who won awards for their work, the rejection of my own efforts was even harder.

The part of Psalm 102 that struck me almost as much as the word of the psalmist himself was the note my NIV Bible placed at the beginning. “A prayer of an afflicted person who has grown weak and pours out a lament before the Lord.” I was allowing myself to feel afflicted when, in spite of rejection, I received another opportunity and an unexpected blessing. God never leaves us at a dead end. He always has something else waiting up ahead.

Just as those mountains showed me how small I am in the scheme of things, they reminded me of how great my God is all of the time. The mountains will not stand forever. An earthquake could destroy them in seconds and God will someday bring them crashing down to be replaced with something better. However, the psalmist goes on to say that God remains the same forever, no matter what happens to His creation.

If you struggle against fear, inadequacies, and insignificance, look to your Creator. He has a plan for you, and He will see it carried through to completion. All that is required from us is to take the opportunities offered and do our best, seeking God’s help. He will never let us down when we are trusting in Him. He will offer another path. Look for it and go forward in His strength. I may feel afflicted, but God never fails.

© Copyright by Norma Gail Thurston Holtman, June 23, 2017

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About the author:

Norma Gail is the author of the contemporary Christian romance, Land of My Dreams, winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 41 years. They have two adult children. If you’re interested in connecting with me, I invite you to follow my blog, join me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, or Amazon. 

Life Preserver

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you ... Isaiah 43:2

Helpless. Alone in a vast expanse of tossing, tumbling blue-gray waves, I searched the horizon for help when the shape of a small boat appeared. I called out as I fought against the pounding waves toward the only hope of rescue and saw something fly through the air. Was it a life preserver? My haven, my only source of survival—yet so far away I doubted my ability to reach it. When I raised my head for a breath, another wave smashed into my face. I choked and sputtered, my vision, blurred from tears and seawater, fixed on that one small, bobbing hope.

Thunder rumbled from dark clouds roiling above in a sky as dark as the water, dragging me back two strokes for every one I took. I had to make it. My legs ached. My lungs burned. My shoulders knotted with exhaustion. Waves crashed higher and higher, and the life preserver seemed to be floating away. 

I paused, treading water, and waved a quivering arm above my head. “Wait!” I spat out the salty water that washed into my mouth. “I’m coming. Please, don’t leave me! I can’t swim anymore.”

The life preserver sailed across the water, smacking against the side of my head, and I grabbed it. Relief. I wrapped my shaking arms around it, my spirits buoyed by the firm tug on the rope, grateful for the unseen hand pulling me toward my rescuer. I was safe at last.

The figure in the boat was obscured in darkness, but I clung tight, overjoyed as each tug on the rope drew me closer. Perhaps he had a warm blanket to ease the chills that racked my body. My teeth chattered until I could scarce take a breath. A drink of fresh water to wash the salt from my lips would be heaven. Just a few more yards to go.

My hand bumped against the boat and I looked up at the imposing form of my rescuer, silhouetted against a ray of sun shining through a break in the clouds. “Th-th-thank y-y-ou.”

No hand reached down to pluck me from the waves. No voice spoke words of reassurance. The man sat, taking up the oars and beginning to tow me through the water. Perhaps the boat was full? I saw no other survivors. There seemed room enough for me. “P-please, I can’t hold on much longer.”

His head dipped in a nod, but he only rowed on, strong, firm strokes drawing the boat toward a shore I could not see.

“Please sir, could you help me into the boat? I’m weak and numb—so tired.” The steady pull as the oars swished through the water was the only answer. I closed my eyes and concentrated on keeping my head above the water, praying to reach the shore.

“Trust me.” His deep tone resonated through my soul. I knew that voice. “You’re safe, my child, safe in the center of my will. Can you not trust the man who died for you to do what’s best?”

A wave, more massive any than I had faced washed over me, stealing the breath from my body. I sputtered as water streamed down my face and gasped, drawing air into emptied lungs. “Jesus? Is that you? Please, will you not help me into the boat?”

“When the time is right, my child. Hold on. I’m here.”

“But Jesus, the next wave could drown me. I’m so tired and cold.”

“Hold fast. Your rest will come. I’ve got you.”

I closed my eyes, tightened my tenuous grip on the rope, and leaned my weary head against the life preserver. My heart screamed what I felt too weak to say. My God is for me, so nothing can overcome me. Even these waves will not destroy me. Nothing can stand against His power.

With every ounce of strength, I heaved a breath. “How long?”

The swish of the oars stopped and the boat slowed as a gentle hand settled on my head. “Dear one, I am more interested in your character than your comfort. I forge my greatest servants in battle, not in ease. When the time is right, I’ll lift you up. Trust me. Breathe my name.”

***

I’ve been there. So weak I thought I could not hold on one more second. So weary I felt giving myself up to the waves preferable to holding on. So overwhelmed I had no words of hope for anyone. So fragile I could do nothing for myself. But my Savior says He holds me safe in the palms of His hands and underneath me are His everlasting arms. He keeps a bottle filled with my tears. He has numbered every hair on my head. He lifts the weary as on the wings of eagles. All is well when He is near.

Because I have known Him for a long time, and I have His word, I know that Jesus will never let go of me. I know He will bring me safely home in His perfect time.

Lord, give me strength to hold on when I cannot see the shore.

© Copyright by Norma Gail Thurston Holtman, August 1, 2016

About the Author:

Norma Gail is the author of the contemporary Christian romance, Land of My Dreams, winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 40 years. They have two adult children.

Connect with Norma:

Website: www.normagail.org

Amazon Author page: http://www.amazon.com/Norma-Gail/e/B00ILHXBAK/

Book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQbZIoC_JSE

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNormaGail

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+NormaGailwrites

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/normagailth/boards/ 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7874459

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Norma_Gail

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/norma-gail-thurston-holtman/42/71a/3b2

Book Links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Land-My-Dreams-Norma-Gail/dp/1941103170

Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas: https://lpcbooks.com/norma-gail/

A Song in the Night

I remembered my songs in the night. Psalm 77:6

I could not remember the last day without pain. A week of small trials, following a prolonged period of physical pain and sleeplessness made me feel trapped, as if the sun would never shine again.

When a painful condition is unseen, others doubt and are quick to accuse. It is all too frequent for people to condemn the sufferer rather than console. The widow receives comfort for a while, and then life is expected to move on. Too often, the innocent spouse receives as much judgment as the guilty. The surgical patient receives more sympathy than the sufferer of an invisible disability.

A bird perched upon a dead tree outside my window, singing as a blanket of fog wrapped me in the silence of unrelenting hurt created a powerful picture. God is as close in the throes of misery and sorrow, as in the sunshine, but it is more difficult to run to Him when surrounded by blackness and thorns.

God spoke to Job in the midst of the storm and to Elijah in a still small voice after the tumult had passed. God answers when I call to Him. He does not leave me alone in the dark, hopeless, and afraid. When it appears He has abandoned, God whispers the comfort of His presence. I only have to sit still to hear. God rarely shouts His answers. He prefers the quiet solitude of our hearts to speak His most gracious words of comfort and peace. He desires me to lean my head on His chest, leaving my burdens at His feet.

It is not chance that Jesus was called the “Man of Sorrows.” He knows my own unique pain. He will not leave me desolate. He will bring balm for my aching soul as He sent the ravens to feed Elijah at Cherith, and angels to Jesus in the wilderness. When the times of pain and darkness come, I must remember the times God has given me songs in the night, adopted children in the midst of infertility, certainty of heaven in the midst of crushing grief.

Look for Him in the darkness. Call to God from the fog of pain. He may not take away the circumstances, but He is faithful to provide healing balm and restore singing to an aching heart.

After A Long Night

What will it be like

When in Your presence I stand,

When I reach out for You

And touch Your hand?

What will it be like

When Your face I see,

When I feel Your presence

Surrounding me?

I long for the day

When all pain is gone,

When my joy and my task

Is to sing Your song.

How will I feel

When I’ve been set free—

From the pain and struggle

That now enslave me?

I long for the day

When I see Your face,

When all of my sickness

Is healed by Your grace.

You are my strength

While I walk this sod,

But, Oh, what peace

To behold my God!

There will come a day

When I understand,

And behold my scars

Upon Your hands.

When I get lost

In the fog of pain,

I cry out for Your presence,

I plead in Your Name.

You are always there,

You never delay.

But still, in my heart,

I will long for that day

When all earthly pain

And sorrow are gone,

At last and forever,

I will be at home.

© Copyright Norma Gail Thurston Holtman

About the author:

Norma Gail’s debut contemporary Christian romance, Land of My Dreams, set in Scotland and New Mexico is the winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. She led weekly women’s Bible studies for 21 years. Her devotionals, poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers, FaithWriters, Romance Writers of America, and the New Mexico Christian Novelists. She is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 40 years. They have two adult children.

Connect with Norma:

www.normagail.org

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNormaGail

https://plus.google.com/b/102717101441594679714/+Normagail/about/p/pub

http://pinterest.com/normagailth/boards/

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7874459.Norma_Gail

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/norma-gail-thurston-holtman/42/71a/3b2

https://twitter.com/Norma_Gail

Book links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Land-My-Dreams-Norma-Gail/dp/1941103170/ or

Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas: http://store.lpcbooks.com/product/land-of-my-dreams/

Never Alone

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

Years of one health problem after another seemed to condense into that one word. Alone. I don’t want to be sick. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this alone.

Illness is a lonely thing by its very nature. We each have our own experience in pain that no one else shares quite in the same way. It is very subjective.

The trip to a specialty clinic thousands of miles away was a gift from God, a chance to see if the myriad symptoms attacking my body made sense to anyone. But two weeks of intense and intrusive testing and therapy meant I had to go alone. I have flown alone. I’ve driven alone, but there was always someone I knew waiting at the other end. This time there would be no one. To make the trip alone was one thing. To eat every meal, go to every doctor and therapist, spend every evening and two weekends alone, with no one to make me laugh when I felt like crying, no one to share my frustrations, or help me navigate around the massive complex—I cried just thinking about it.

Then a voice whispered in my ear. “I will be with you. You are never alone. Trust me. Focus on what I will do. Look for what I can show you. We’ll do this together.” I don’t know what God will do yet, but I will not be alone. God is in the midst of this trial. I will not fear.

Dear Lord, wrap your arms around those who are lonely and hurting. Whisper your presence into our darkness. Speak your truth into our circumstances. Shout your love into our loneliness. Remind us of your presence. Give us your peace. Help us go forth in hope and faith. Remind us we are never alone. Amen.

© Copyright by Norma Gail Thurston Holtman, February 16, 2016

About the author:

Norma Gail is the author of the contemporary Christian romance, Land of My Dreams, winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 40 years. They have two adult children.

Connect with Norma:

Website: www.normagail.org

Amazon Author page: http://www.amazon.com/Norma-Gail/e/B00ILHXBAK/

Book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQbZIoC_JSE

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNormaGail

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+NormaGailwrites

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/normagailth/boards/ 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7874459

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Norma_Gail

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/norma-gail-thurston-holtman/42/71a/3b2

Book Links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Land-My-Dreams-Norma-Gail/dp/1941103170

Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas: https://lpcbooks.com/norma-gail/

Clouds

Do you know how the clouds hang poised, those wonders of him who has perfect knowledge?

Job 37:16

Thin gray clouds hovered just below the peaks of the mountains, making me wonder if a forest fire was in progress. One sniff of the air convinced me it was that rare phenomena in the Southwest, moisture.

Clouds floating past the large picture windows of my mountain home always grab my attention. At almost 7200 feet in altitude, I see a lot of them. At times they start out dark gray and full of moisture which never materializes. Sometimes, they are big and fluffy, but the promised rain still fails to materialize. Beautiful, yet disappointing.

My father-in-law was a great appreciator of clouds, finding shapes in them which he would point out to anyone willing to listen. Living in The Netherlands for half of his life, part of it during the Nazi occupation of WWII, he had seen plenty of clouds, both literally and figuratively. Perhaps the blue skies of the Southwest made him appreciate clouds more because they are not always the harbingers of storms.

When we moved to the mountains we thought the sun would set quickly, causing us to miss the brilliant colors of the evening sky. Wrong! The altitude seems to allow for more interesting cloud formations, streaked with amazing colors every day. My favorite was the pink thunderstorm one summer evening, far across the valley, catching the last rays of the setting sun.

Life is full of clouds, a sudden job change, unexpected illness, a broken relationship, or an untimely death. We can’t choose the kind of clouds that enter our lives. Sometimes clouds bring frightening storms we can’t escape and we cry out for help. Clouds can forewarn of storms, but their absence may not always portend a perfect day. They affect our mood and sometimes change our plans.

One thing is certain, clouds will come. The only thing more certain than clouds is the love and care of my heavenly Father. He promises to stand by my side through the storms, just as He rejoices with me in the good times.

Developing the habit of appreciating clouds makes me more open to the working of God in my life, and less fearful of the storms. Looking for God in the clouds and storms of life enables me to trust Him for the sunshine to come. Clouds may hide the sky, but God is always there.

© Norma Gail Thurston Holtman, February 26, 2015

About the author:

Norma Gail is the author of the contemporary Christian romance, Land of My Dreams, winner of the 2016 Bookvana Religious Fiction Award. A women’s Bible study leader for over 21 years, her devotionals and poetry have appeared at ChristianDevotions.us, the Stitches Thru Time blog, and in “The Secret Place.” She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. Norma is a former RN who lives in the mountains of New Mexico with her husband of 40 years. They have two adult children.

Connect with Norma:

Website: www.normagail.org

Amazon Author page: http://www.amazon.com/Norma-Gail/e/B00ILHXBAK/

Book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQbZIoC_JSE

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNormaGail

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+NormaGailwrites

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/normagailth/boards/ 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7874459

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Norma_Gail

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/norma-gail-thurston-holtman/42/71a/3b2

Book Links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Land-My-Dreams-Norma-Gail/dp/1941103170

Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas Bookstore: http:// lpcbooks.com/product/land-of-my-dreams/

 Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/land-of-my-dreams-norma-gail/1119606864?ean=9781941103173