Monday, June 5, 2017

Empty Nests and Letting Go

Empty nests these days are usually born of going off to college. The young man doesn’t leave his parents’ home to go off with his wife as the rest of this verse suggests:

“…For this cause shall a man leave father and mother…” Matthew 19:5A

So through the ages, it’s changed from God’s way. The father doesn’t keep teaching his son or decide when he’s ready to marry. For that matter, a father doesn’t have much say over anything after the son turns eighteen these days. Have you wondered about that? Why the Bible says it? The concept almost feels foreign we’ve strayed so far into the traditions of men.

In January this year, our “empty nest” became a reality—the first time Ron and I have been just us together in the house since we were nineteen and brought home our firstborn son. We’re both 67 now, and the phenomenon is greatly appreciated and enjoyed. 

We stretched out our own family, having baby Russell when oldest Matt was thirteen. The older three did leave our house to marry—not that we had a big say in the ‘who’ they married. Sign of the times.
The before Russ went off to college, we took in four grandsons—brothers age six, four, three, and newborn straight home from the hospital. We were 52 then and thought it was temporary. 

Twelve years later, Matthew Ross #1 of our "second set of four" graduated high school and went off to college. Soon brother #2 left with our blessing, the other granddaddy broke his hip and Gregory said he could be a help to them. Brother #3 left in rebellion, got tired of rules and evidently didn’t think his data should be limited…go figure. #4, at fourteen the only brother still with us, wanted the opportunity to live with his parents and be closer to the brothers who are living with maternal grandparents about three hours away.

Though it’s nice to think I’ll have no more teachers’ meetings, open houses, or sports practices to pick up sweaty little fellers, I miss them, too. I didn’t have much time to miss my baby Russell when he left; sorta felt like we pushed him out of the nest bringing in his four little nephews. The most difficult is not knowing what they’re doing, that they’re on their own, making their own decisions. I pray they make good ones.

It’s time for O’Pa and me to exercise out trust in the Lord. It’s hard to let go, though. Maybe because today’s society doesn’t wait until they are going to cleave to a wife. A young man can get into so much trouble out on their own in those years, and that makes it harder on parents (or grandparents), but we can trust the Lord! He is able to keep our children.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6  

In DAUGHTERS OF THE HEART, book five of my Texas Romance family saga, Henry Buckmeyer is dealing with his daughters coming of age. It wasn’t any easier back in the 1800s for a father, I suppose; though his youngest three girls did put stock in his wisdom. (genre) historical, western Christian romance; 1853-1854) 

Jacket copy: God’s perfect plan is oft so hard to determine.
   In his life, Henry Buckmeyer has never been so beside himself. His little girls are so young, just babies, too young. He hates the whole idea of men coming to take them away and is inclined to shoot every one of them, but praise God for a level-headed, loving wife and step-mother who helps keep him sane amidst the female chaos. Packed with fun, romance, deception, action, heartbreak and tears, this delightful Christian novel keeps the twists and turns coming.
   Will the Buckmeyer home ever be settled and peaceful again? Will any of his daughters find true love…a man he'll approve and to whom he can give his blessing?

Today and through Thursday of this week, the ebook is free! 
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I hope you’ll enjoy the story!

And if you’re losing your youngest this year, experiencing an empty nest,

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

BIO: Award winning, best-selling author Caryl McAdoo currently writes four series: the historical Christian ‘Texas Romance’; a contemporary ‘Red River Romance’; The Generations, her Biblical fiction and a mid-grade The King’s Highway. The prolific, bestselling novelist loves singing new songs the Lord gives her and painting. In 2008, she and her high school sweetheart-husband Ron moved from the DFW area—home for fifty+ years—to the woods of Red River County. Caryl counts four children and seventeen grandsugars life’s biggest blessings believing all good things come from God. Praying her story gives God glory, she hopes each one will also minister His love, mercy, and grace to its readers. Caryl and Ron live in Clarksville, the county seat, in the far northeast corner of the Lone Star State.
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  1. Caryl, thank you for sharing. Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of my favorite promises to cling to. There so many temptations in the world to draw young children and teens away from Biblical teaching in the home and church. But so thankful God knows and has promised in His Word train up a child in the Lord and He'll never depart from it. They may stray for a while but thankfully and prayfully many returns to God.

    I see a lot of grandparents raising their children presently. Your reward will be great for your sacrifices in providing a Christian and nuturing home for those grandsons. Enjoy your empty nest time with Ron and all the blessings of God. Hugs to you.

  2. I am helping my daughter raise her three year old daughter. Our empty nest is now full again!