So I’m taking a deep breath letting it out slowly and opening up a bittersweet topic. Three years ago last month marked the third year of my youngest son’s passing. He died of congestive heart failure and he was only thirty-two years old. Tim was the cuddling kind of a baby, you know the kind, that just loved being held and snuggled and played with. This was something my other two, enjoyed but had the ‘okay Mom I’ve had enough’ kind of kids. Tim answered a longing I was unaware I had until he was born. A special gift from God the creator that touched deep in my soul. He was a great kid and gave the family a lot of laughs. He was artistic and in fact was voted one of the top one-hundred pen and ink artist of the world the last year of his life. Tim also went through a very rough decade when he made poor decisions and wasn’t living a godly life. However this changed the last year and a half and he was right with the Lord and right with his family, another blessing from the Lord. So when Tim died there was a peace in knowing where he was going.
All of that is probably more information than is needed and I considered deleting it but decided it was necessary for you to understand a bit of my heart as a mother. So, why am I sharing this?
Because today is Thoughtful Thursday according to this blog and these are a few of my thoughts regarding the loss of a child. Yes it hurts beyond anything you will ever experience in this lifetime and I pray you will never know that hurt. However, if you are chosen to live in that circumstance know that there is grace, strength and confidence to stand up and face the days ahead. There was an elderly lady in our church, Margaret Wells, who lived to almost 95 years. When we arrived I discovered Margaret had lost a son 25 years prior, and a husband 10 years prior, she was 84 when I met her. Five years later he other son passed away and she said to me, “I don’t know why I’m still here.” After my son, Tim passed I hugged Margaret and said, “one of the reasons you were still here was for me, thank you.” You see Margaret was an example of a women who had braved the storms of life. She was still a loving, kind and generous woman and while she had incredible losses she also had great joys and she didn’t loss her faith. In my opinion she was a woman of strength. She grew up on a farm, lost her mom when she was a teen, was raised by her dad and worked hard. Her husband was also a writer and wrote several sci-fi books, so she understood the ways of a writer and had a fondness for me as well.
Margaret passed two years ago and I miss her. She was a mentor and a friend but she showed me that you don’t have to stay in the depths of the grief that comes our way. I miss Tim more today than I did shortly after he passed but that’s okay. I allow myself to cry when I need to. But there is victory in death for a believer and both Margaret and Tim were believers. Yes there is a pain. Yes there is heart-ache but the sting is not there. What is there is a longing for getting together again with them one day.
Life is an adventure, the question is are you going to live it to the fullest and stand against the hardships? Or are you going to let those battles wear you down?
If you chose to stand, then join me taking one step at a time and raising yourself out of the hardships of life and move forward toward your goals and freedom in Christ.
If my thoughts didn’t scare you, and you would like to enter for a free copy of “Wining the Captain’s Heart” just post a comment. And thanks for taking the time to read this post.
Lynn A. Coleman is an award winning & best-selling author who makes her home in Keystone Heights, Florida, with her husband of 40 years. Lynn's newest novel "Winning the Captain's Heart" released the first of this month. It is the first in her Historical St. Augustine, FL. series. Check out her 19th Century Historical Tidbits Blog if you like exploring different tidbits of history.